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Dear Journal … time to close this chapter

This past week has had to be one of the busiest weeks I’ve had in a long time but definitely a very busy week for me for this new year.

I work in Corporate America and when I tell you it is a 4/10, would not recommend it unless you like the kind of things like high stress, anxiety, no work boundaries, and rude people. For someone with Lupus, high stress and anxiety are not good or healthy for us. I never even noticed how many times I’ve had back-to-back flare-ups with this job because they are so consistent!. I work in the healthcare sector of C.A., working for a laboratory, pushing papers for the Sales department but now that we have been bought by another company they are revamping and changing things around for the “betterment” of the company. I was told that many changes would be happening about a year ago, including my role possibly being terminated. It was still business as usual for the most part but I kept looking at what jobs are available out there.

This past week, I’ve been told a plethora of things, that my job will be terminated and then I will possibly get a severance, to my job is not being terminated but evaluated and elevated which in turn would mean the skill sets that I currently have will not suit what they are looking for so I have to find another job. The company is at will which means no severance. How do you say one thing then come back around and say something else? Mind you, none of this was via email, all phone calls but I did email recapping what was said. To say you are not pushing me out but then further explaining someone being pushed out was very comical for me. At this point, I don’t think I have the strength, drive or respect to really try to stay with the company. I did apply to a few positions within but only time will tell if I will get an interview and actually get hired. I’ve been spending the last few nights just on LinkedIn and seeing what companies out there are hiring. If you’re looking for a job, definitely use LinkedIn as a resource. 

I’ve also been battling what seems to be a sinus infection. I have one every few years but this time it was a little different, less painful but more annoying. I used my oil diffuser every night, drank tea morning and evening, and tried to dress as warm as possible even in the house. I went and got a rapid Covid test and that came back negative and I will be getting a PCR test soon. Finding an appointment for PCR testing is actually insane right now it can be days before you can obtain an appointment. I’m already starting to feel better so I know it wasn’t anything too serious or too much for me to handle. 

I really hope as time goes by, I can get a better hold of my strength and wellbeing and I find another job that is more geared to my goals, and views but also less stress. 

This week I am grateful for …

  1. Supportive Friends and Family
  2. Being able to change my situation
  3. Waking up each day to a new day

"If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him. But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed."- James 1:5-6 

#lupusawareness #lupusblogger #lupussucks #lupusnephritis #lupuswarrior #lupus #chronicillnessawareness #chronicillness #lifestyle #dearjournal